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You know, if you need an alibi or some shit.” I nodded and assured him that it wouldn’t be necessary.“Yeah, well, my cousin Pancho has a three-thousand-acre ranch out in West Texas. We bury that mother fucker out there, they never find the body.” I couldn’t tell if he was serious, but knowing Martinez, I assumed he was honest. I promised not to do anything stupid and to keep my personal problems out of things. As he walked away, he shouted, “Call me if you change your mind.”I retrieved Dave, and we headed back toward his place, but he spoke up. “I can’t go home, Bill. I can’t be there. Can you take me to a hotel? I doubt I’ll be able to sleep anyway, but I can’t face seeing her things at home.”“Sure,” I told him. “You’re welcome to stay at our place tonight.”“No,” he replied. “I need to be alone.”“Ok, I understand.”I drove to a nearby NyLo, and as we pulled up to the porte-cochère to drop him off, he sighed heavily. “Melissa said that life is suffering,” he began, and his words sent. “Well, you’ve seen me. Now, it will only be fair if I see you.” You pray in your head that you haven’t scared her or grossed her out. To your surprise she starts stripping! The girl of your incestuous dreams is stripping for you! “Wait,” you exclaim before any of her clothes come off. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it”“Yeah. I know this sounds crazy but…” she pauses for a second.“But what?” you say, prompting her to continue.“But I’ve been fantasizing about you for a long time. Now before you think I’m a pervert, I just wanna say that I can’t help it. You’re just so sexy and perfect,” she confesses. You are confused at his statement because most girls think you’re a nerd (which you pretty much are with the vertically challengedness and the glasses and the enormous IQ of 143)“Yeah right,” you say in a sarcastic tone, “I’m about as hot as the north pole.”“You are not! I think you’re very hot and I’m not just saying that because you’re pathetic, I really mean it. I really get turned.
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