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Even private details about how unhappy you are with your life. Your loneliness. Your home life. Your work. Your many nights of unbearable sadness. Always there. Listening to your every word, promising to be there for you, responding every time you emailed or pinged on Yahoo. The one you chose to be your online friend and lover kept the bond strong and vital. Kept you coming back for the comfort and the company you so missed and needed. It became a fairy tale just at the edge of reality and you gladly romped among the colored flowers and clouds, thinking only of the rewards and not the jeopardy. After all this was online and it meant nothing. Right? Just pretend people with pretend feelings. So, ask yourself then, why does it hurt? There’s not supposed to be hurt when you pretend. What’s that all about? Suddenly the colored flowers and clouds have morphed into a dimly lit room, wall to wall carpeting and a laptop now too bright for your eyes. Somehow while you were pretending you. "I grinned at her. "Sex does that, you know."She blushed."OK," I added, "maybe I can think this through more clearly, since, unlike you, I don't have the hots for Pete."She blushed again."Here's what I think," I went on. "If a married person tries to carry on a long term affair, and keep it secret from the person they are married to, the marriage is in trouble, and likely to fall apart."Nancy nodded, and started to speak, but I held up my hand to stop her."Married people can, in some cases, have affairs without destroying their marriage, but it takes some openness between the partners, and a lot of caring and acceptance."Nancy nodded again. "You're talking about an open marriage, right?" That's not the only possibility. Everyone has heard of famous couples where one partner had lovers on the side and the other remained faithful. But that takes a very special sort of partner. So, yes, an open marriage, or a swinging lifestyle, seems like it would be more likely to work for a couple.".
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