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She gave mea strange look but did so, even holding out the lighter to light it forme."Thank you," I told her as I took a long drag, feeling oh so verysatisfied."I'm surprised you're smoking," she told me after a minute, "but thenagain, you're surprising me with a lot of things tonight."I just nodded at that, realizing that I'd been surprising myself a greatdeal as well. For one thing, I never would have imagined that I'd besmoking and liking it. It was like being turned into a copy of Tarawas giving me some of her habits and such.Suddenly, I couldn't help wondering just how much of my desires andbehaviors tonight had been from me and how much I had inherited fromTara. It was a little scary to realize that I didn't know how much ofmy own thoughts and feelings were my own. But as I looked at Tarabeside me, I decided that at the moment it really didn't matter. I wasenjoying myself way too much to worry about it.Strangely enough, now that we were relaxed, Tara didn't bother asking. They became so much a part of me that I scarcely noticed them unless they wereinadvertently stimulating me or being incorporated by Sir into my pain or pleasure.On the surface and to all appearances, I was my Master's true slave. All wasnot as it seemed though. During this early time with Sir, before the training sessions began, therewere instances of confusion. Moments of anger and doubt. I often wondered ifmy nature was truly submissive or if I was merely playing at something beyondmy understanding. Did my ultimate pleasure lie in totally pleasing another?At times, I found myself rebelling against the subjugation of my individualityand uncomfortable with the feeling of being absorbed by a stronger will. Needlessto say, these displays of willfulness displeased my Master. I was unhappy aswell. It was a situation that demanded resolution. I was told that I must eitherprove to myself and to my Master that I truly belonged to him or that I mustleave. I was asked to give myself body and.
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