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Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.5. Leave a note on your door that reads:"Bubba,Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?"The farmer called Flo and she and Joe went on their way.The third boy arrived. This meant helping your parents prepare the guest room, cleaning out the six seater SUV, and finding time in-between to have breakfast before heading to the airport.According to your parents, this was in preparation and anticipation for the many pieces of luggage Julie would no doubt be bringing with her."I wonder how many outfits Aunt Julie will be bringing?" You ask out of curiosity, in-between spoonfuls of cereal."Well..." Your father, Roger, began while sipping his coffee. "Given Julie's flair for fashion, I think the real question is how much did she have to leave behind." He finished jokingly, eliciting some laughter from your mother and yourself."I wouldn't be surprised if Julie agonized over what to bring with her," said your mother, Elaine, sympathetically in-between forkfuls of eggs and sausage. "Probably afraid that Frank might take the rest of her clothes and burn them, or worse..." She continues, pausing long enough to sip some juice. "...donate them to the Salvation.
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