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Is this really what people think when they see me? I feel empty and slightly sick, kind of like the feeling you get after you've been sick, still wanting to hurl but knowing nothing will come up. The bell goes for the end of class and I let everyone leave before gathering my things. Neil Gill looks at me, his gaze steady and firm."Just survive the week," His voice is sincere and sad, "Keep your head down, do your time, and survive the week."I thank him and as I do, I get the feeling that he knows what's going on inside my head better than I do. It's not an entirely pleasant feeling.Physical Education is not, thankfully, a repeat of Monday's debacle. I dump my stuff in the girls changing rooms before they even got there and go out into the gym. We get spilt up, divided by gender, and the girls stay downstairs to do gymnastics while we go up stairs to do weights. I am also allowed clothes, only gloves, but by now I'll take anything I'm given. I take a seat on the chest press and begin. Rich was a bit more of a freewheeling ladies man. He always seemed to have a different girl every week. He had no qualms about it. In all the years I knew Rich, I never recall him getting serious about a girl for any length of time. He seemed to live by the rule 'love ‘em and leave ‘em.'That is why I was so shocked one day I practically fell out of my chair when Rich mentioned he actually had feelings for a girl."Al, I think I found the one," he was practically giddy."One what Rich?" I asked."This girl is for me man," he beamed, "I mean this girl is special."For Rich to say a girl is special was a huge leap for him. He usually only talked about what a great time he had in bed or maybe mention how hot she looked. For him to say a girl was special was like other guys saying they were in love."I really want you to meet her," he stated, "This weekend we'll all go out." Sounds good." I said, "What's her name?" Lauren," he answered, "Believe me, you'll like her."Lauren. Man, that name.
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