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The phone rings I jump. Just to find a phone solicitor on the other end, wanting to know if I wanted the paper delivered. I replied trying to stay calm."Ms I already get your paper, please do not call here again."Was it the waiting, the want, the need. Whatever this was may cope ability level was at an all time low. But still I felt a sense of anticipation. Was I lost in feeling and thoughts. Misforgotten Yesterdays. I had no conclusions just kept hearing the echoing of my mind.From the first time we had meet and spoke, I knew I was in trouble. Alarmed but felt secure. Confusing eluding. Entranced. I asked what do I allow her to do. Now disgusted with myself, for I had no conclusion on my feelings. In a dream or as in none. She continued to live in my mind.This was a must be, have to situation, it had to end. With that thought and the feeling of losing myself completely. I went to the phone, dialed her number, she answered, Hmmm She didn't even leave yet. My voice begin to speak. Moody Cindy. One minute she was friendly and out going, the next a mean spirited gossip with nothing nice to say. Belinda was hard to get to know, she was very quiet very shy and very overweight, and she had decided to wear a caftan and not a suit at all. There were others but after a few minutes I couldn't keep track of who was who so gave up trying. Eventually a few brave men began to mingle with us, bringing drinks and claiming waists.I didn't have to look to know it was Eddie's hand sliding over my back."Thank you." I smiled at him as I took my drink.Groups naturally developed and we were standing in a group of about 5. I was grateful for my drink, I wasn't at all sure what to do with my hands, wearing so little clothes gave me nothing to fidget with, no pockets. I didn't want to sit, that always made a tummy worse. I wasn't much of a social group person so I did a lot of listening. I tended to watch people for clues to what they weren't saying. I noticed many women wore their.
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