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Mercifully 5:00 finally occurred and Iheaded for the local watering hole to have a couple of quick ones beforethe 6:09 was due to take me home. Angela, the well endowed and skimpilydressed server brought my usual scotch on the rocks and much to my ownastonishment I found myself sending her back to the bar for a white winespritzer."Are you OK, Bill?" she questioned."Well I suppose that with the increased workload at the office and withthe 'help' of the incompetent cunts they have assigned to my project, Iguess I'm just not myself," I replied. Then from out of the blue Ifound myself asking Angela if she had a spare Tampax I could borrow."Well I guess so," she replied, "but what are you going to do with it?" It's my time of the month," my mouth said as my brain rebelled, "and Ineed to change the one I'm wearing."With a puzzled look she proceeded to rummage around in her purseproducing the requested cylinder, handing it to me and snickered as shewent to wait on the less bizarre. "OK, give me a list of stuff you need from the store," I said. "You two can run to the mall and pick up a suit or two and I'll do the grocery thing."Janet was shaking her head."No way, pal," she said. "I would ask for vermicelli and you would bring back spaghetti. Any man who thinks Ramen noodles are a food group is not getting anywhere near my kitchen." Mom," Lila whined.Janet turned to her."Mac and I will go shopping," she said. "If he doesn't mind you can just stay here until we get back. I don't want you swimming alone but you can use the hot tub for 10 minutes at a time. Just wear your underwear. Do you mind if she stays here by herself?"I didn't mind if Janet didn't."I'll leave my cell with her," I offered. "That way if she needs us she can get in touch with us."I knew that Janet had delayed picking up cell phone service for another month, too. Still, she stared at me."Are you an idiot or am I missing something?" she asked."Honestly, there is a pretty good bet that both are.
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