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The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried about people who knew them finding out. So although it was scary it also felt safe in a weird way.Although with most there was very little, if any, talking, some you got to know, at least a little. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear but everyone would pretend and go about their life.I have always been a pretty shy person. I wouldn't say I lacked confidence so much as I didn't feel the need to stand out. I was happy blending into the crowd. At the park though, I felt safe to take risks. Like you would see a guy sitting in the parking lot or walking round and round in circles. Last night were fucking amazing. If I ever let her talk like this, the situation would have been the opposite. Me feeling sorry for my mom and her distancing from me for a while. I rather not!She should feel sorry for me. She should find a way to make me happy again. The last thing I said should give her a right hint for what I really wanted.The day went on, and I was playing games in my room all day. It didn’t bother me at all. Meanwhile, my mom has been in the living room, confused. I have already passed to eat dinner with her. It was getting late, and I could smell the evening food getting ready.Mom: Baby, the food Is ready, come downstairs!Me: No, mom, I will pass.Mom: Don’t you dare! You haven’t been eating anything since this morning!Me: I’m really not hungry, mom!Mom: If you don’t come downstairs now, I will get really mad at you! Get down here!I paused for a moment and said.Me: Yeah, alright, alright, I will come down in a minute.I went down after 10 minutes like it was.
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