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For years Iwondered this but never had the chance to see.Being as small as I was, life was hell for me. I could never get agirlfriend and none of the guys wanted anything to do with me so I spenta lonely childhood. I used to watch the girls playing and having fun andadmiring how cute they looked when all dressed up in their prettiestdresses, wishing I was a girl because even a small girl had friends. IfI was a girl my age and size no one would give it a second thought, Iwould be what they call petite, now I am just a runt, a shrimp.I was fourteen in 1955 and still admiring the way the younger girlsdressed and still wondered how I would look in a dress like they wore.About two weeks before my fifteenth birthday my mother, who was veryclose to me and appreciative of my problem being a shrimp, asked me whatI wanted for my birthday. I told her I had to think about it.I knew what I wanted; I just did not know how to tell her. I read,secretly, all the magazines the pre teen girls read and. He moved his hand and pushed it down inside my uniform skirt and knickers. He quickly found my pussy and started to enter me with his fingers. I hesitated for a moment, but simply wasn't ready to go this far yet so I pushed him away. It had been too much too soon, and I’d shunned and approaches from boys after that. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop me thinking about physical contact, intimacy, sexual activity. The thought turned me on massively. I frequently got aroused as I thought these thoughts…my nipples would swell, almost painfully, and I’d feel my vagina getting wet. I’d address these episodes of arousal with desperate masturbation in bed or on the floor of my bedroom. I would orgasm easily but very intensely to the point that I’d go dizzy and my thighs and legs would tingle or even go numb as I went over the top. Sometimes it was just my fingers, but I also used improvised sex aids such as a hairbrush handle or even a banana. The sessions were daily as a rule – maybe even twice.
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