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Never once did my mom ask why I had been in the fights or why I did what I did. I did everything I did for her. I never got into fights over petty things, but when someone made a pass at my mom, they regretted it. Cutting was my way of escaping the pain of knowing that all I was, was a reminder to my mother of my father, and as a disappointment to her for all the things I did. I found my dad’s service knife when I was twelve. I was at home after school, waiting for my mom to get off work. I missed him and went to my mom’s room and to her closet to his gear. He had three knives, a military grade throwing knife, a combat knife, and a Swiss Army knife with multiple different things in it like a corkscrew, a knife, and a saw. I was playing with the combat knife and the throwing knife. The combat knife slipped out of my hand and cut my arm. It was painful, but it with the pain came a clarity that I never had since the day the Marine’s came to the door telling my mother that my father was. Maine kaha koi baat nahi aap ka kaam huaa mujhe khushi hui. Maine uska naam pucha to usne kaha mera naam namitha hai. Maine bhi use apna naam batayaa. Phir hum dono ne ek doosre ke no liye aur usne kaha maine jaldi hi tumharaa paisa de dungi. Yeh kah kar woh chali gyaee aur maine bhi apna saaman lekar ghar aa gaya. Kareeb 15 dino ke baad uska phone aaya ke woh mujhe milnaa chahti hai mera money bhi dena hai aur mujhe thanks kehna chahti hai yeh sunkar maine bahut khush hua. Phir maine use milne ka time bataa diya.hum log ek coffe shop maine milee jaha usne mujhe mera money diya. Usne baato baato maine yeh bataya ke woh ek married woman hai. Aur uske husband working tour per bahut hote hai.humne waha cofee pe usne mujhe bill deen nahi diyaa. Uski baato se woh apni married life se happy nahi thi mujhe laga.phir hum waha se chale aayee aur phir usse baato ka silsilaa chaltaa raha jab bhi maine use phone karta woh bahut khush hoti aur uska phone ane per mujhe bhi acha lagta.Ek din uska.
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