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. and the second is yours, then the third should be Rick’s. Agreed? I want one baby by each of my men. Then those tubes get tied, cut, and double fucking tied.”“Oh, hell, why not ... there’s a pretty good chance that by then, I’ll be dead, anyway, and it won’t even be my problem! I just want to put one bun in the oven to finally pass on my genes and to spite my ex-wife, Sherry. I doubt that I’ll even get it to see that one grow up. Sixteen years of marriage and not a kid ... turned out that she had been aborting my brats at the rate of one every three years or so. She left me after getting knocked up by her boss ... turned out that she went out of her way to make sure that she conceived by another man instead of me. Wanna know what she said to me as she left?”“What?” I asked him out of morbid curiosity.“Her last words to me were, ‘My only regret is that I didn’t make you get a vasectomy, so that I could prevent you from ever reproducing at all. A dirty old man like you has no business. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!”Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”This one is compliments of Joe SAfter a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train.”“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting.”“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss.”“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the.
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