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I snuck out of the cafe and caught a taxi back to my hotel. I went into my room and took off all of my clothes, got into the shower and just let the water run down on me. I soaped myself off, but I somehow just couldn't get clean enough. I must have stayed in the shower for over an hour. When Kathy came in I was still there. My skin was wrinkled and I had huge bags under my eyes from crying, but I didn't tell her what was wrong. I couldn't. No one could ever know how stupid I'd been. I suddenly realized that the two people, who'd almost understood me had both been right. Miranda had tried to tell me that the grass wasn't any greener on the other side of the world, but I hadn't listened. And Kathy had told me that people and places, were only people and places. I went to dinner with my daughter, and called my husband for the first time since I'd left. I had avoided talking to Bert because I didn't want his negativity to ruin my trip. I'd wanted romance, and the fantasy, I figured out. What I saw took my breath away for a second; two eyes just below the surface, staring back at me. Christ! The sight of them gave me such a shock, that I staggered backwards for a few paces.But then, taking my heart in my hands I moved back to the bank edge and looked down into the cold water a little more carefully. Sure enough, there was a face, just below the surface whose pleading eyes were staring back up at me.Things kind-of happened quite quickly after that, as I moved into a kind of automaton mode. Look, I'm no hero and I believe if I'd stopped to think about it, I most likely would have stood there and yelled for help. But I wasn't thinking, my mind was concentrating on or captivated by the pleading expression in those eyes...I remember yelling something — god knows what - to draw the courting couple's attention, and then I plunged head first into the cold water. It took me only a couple of strokes to reach the body; then taking firm hold of it under the arms, I found my feet.
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