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It was an interesting consideration. Could I step outside my comfort zone, perhaps once, and see? And could I live with myself afterwards? And if so, was someone like Angie, or even Becky, the right choice? I’d promised the guys that I’d talk to Angie, and I would. Beyond that, I had no clue what I’d do.Normally, I trusted Jocelyn, but the past few months, combined with her altered mental state, called her advice into question. That said, by the end of our conversation, she’d sounded much more like her old self than she had at the beginning, enough to make a joke about tying her up. I wondered what Doctor Henderson thought, and decided it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to call her sometime on Wednesday to ask.“You’re quiet again,” Nancy said about an hour after she’d come into work.“I went to see Jocelyn last night.”“Oh,” Nancy said, sounding defeated.“No!” I exclaimed immediately. “Exactly the opposite. She asked if we were ‘done’ and I said yes. We’re friends, close friends, and. I never told you. You just knew. You believed. Thank you.’ She drinks again, swaying, gathering scattered thoughts like lost sheep. Rivers rush through her head, torrents of time, years of memories blur like fog. She pulls her fragmented thoughts together, struggles to concentrate against the pull of the whisky. She turns to the second chair. ‘ Good evening Miss Hedges.’ she says, curtseying a little unsteadily. She pauses, unsure how to go on, staring into the glass. ‘When I came to you……’ she starts, and hesitates again ‘When I came to you, I was an obnox…obnoxus….spoilt brat…’ the words slur into each other. ‘I was a brat, know all jumped up stupid little BRAT!’ She sighs, and begins again. ‘When I came to your drama school I thought I already knew it all. Thought I was already the best actress who ever trod the boards. Two school plays and I thought I was a star. And I was shit..’ she savours the word, making it a hiss..’ I was total SHIT! Miss Hedges. And you knew it. And you.
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