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"My father spun around and glared at my mother but he didn't say anything. We went to church and two hours later arrived back home my father having been mute ever since our earlier argument. Once we were home I went and changed clothes, putting on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt while mom and dad retreated to their suite in the basement. Thinking about what to have for dinner I looked around the kitchen and realized that I needed to restock groceries so I grabbed my purse and yelled down the stairs to my parents that I was going grocery shopping."Mom, dad? I need to go out for groceries anything you two want?" My father didn't answer but mom did."Would you pick me up some toothpaste honey?" Sure mom, I'll be back in an hour or so." I went out the door and was halfway to the shopping center when I realized that I hadn't taken this purse to church, that I had taken my brown leather purse and inside that purse was my wallet and credit cards. Damn I thought as I turned the car around and. My upbringing was very controlled and structured. I assume this played some role in me being attracted to older dominant men. I think my upbringing normalized it in my subconscious mind.Bryan began discussing with me his desire for command, control, and obedience. Over and over he would discuss complete command, complete control, and complete obedience. He discussed his expectations including my failures to meet his standard would result in punishment. As in the past, when Bryan’s talked, he just told me what was going to happen he did not offer me a choice in the matter. He talked for great length about what each of the categories meant and how my failures would be dealt with. He expected total devotion.One night, he brought a framed sheet of paper which he mounted on the wall right below where my whip was mounted on the wall just outside my bedroom. He placed it at eye-level as if I was kneeling facing the wall. He had been teaching me the proper positions and postures of a.
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