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Others went into hiding. And yet the birthrate remained low. Estimated lifetime fertility was .025 children were woman. For every 40 women, there would be one baby.Radical change was needed, and the government was willing to do it. They made a momentous decision. Martial law was declared. And it was decreed that men had the right to rape women without legal consequences. In fact, it was encouraged. Women were of course horrified. Men’s reaction was more mixed. Many men were simply delighted that they could get a whole lot of pussy. Caring men were deeply troubled that their wives and daughters and sisters could be violated. Yet deep down many didn’t really understand what the huge deal was. Sex didn’t hurt, it was natural, and there WAS this huge fertility problem. Besides, they were going to be able to mate with other guys’ wives and daughters and sisters.Yet the situation soon spiraled out of control. There was a foreseeable rampant spread of STIs. Clans retreated to fortified. It’s hard to get angry or resentful over something absurd or amusing, and once they smiled I knew I had them. I knew that Bruno and Helen were working on modules that connected, and I had met with them a couple of times, going over how their outputs played together. So I broke the news that Bruno’s assignment was named Crookneck Squash. ‘Now suppose we call Helen’s job Zucchini. Anybody at all can tell that they go together somehow, can’t they? So that’s not a good idea. But the way we’ve named the jobs, only Bruno and Helen would know why there’s a tricky compatibility between Crookneck Squash and Phillips Screwdriver.’ Helen looked shocked. ‘You mean I’m working on Phillips Screwdriver?’ ‘Yes, and you’re the only person who is. It’s an honor to be assigned to something as complex as Phillips Screwdriver, so carry that name with pride. It’s every bit as complicated as Concord Grape Juice, that Ames is working on.’ By this time the absurdity of the names had hit home and everybody.
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