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Woolf,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are"documented by our video surveillance cameras":1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.6. August 14:. "That, you unfaithful bitch, is the paperwork from the vasectomy I had two years ago, including the three tests taken at six month intervals to verify that the operation was a success. I told you before we got married that I did not want to have any children and the operation was my insurance against it ever happening. So, you might be pregnant, but I'm sure as hell not the daddy."We walked into Harry Olsen's office and he motioned for us to sit down. Once we were seated he said:"Yesterday afternoon you gave me your resignation and within the space of two hours I had phone calls from eleven of my best accounts telling me that since you were leaving they intended to take their business to wherever you end up. When I asked for a reason they said I should ask you" and he turned to Ron. "Being the intelligent executive that I am I was able to deduce that the resignation and their leaving are all somehow connected. Would either of you care to enlighten me as to what it is that is.
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