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Among the thoughts I experimented with were the ideas of gestalt therapist Fritz Perls, most famous for his ‘Gestalt Prayer’: I do my thing and you do your thing I am not in this world to live up to your expectations And you are not in this world to live up to mine You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other it’s beautiful If not, it can’t be helped I went very close to believing it, before concluding that was a step too far. That was independence. Independence is not equality as I wanted it, nor as Lue wanted it. But sometimes you have to explore extremes before you realise what is right for you. ********** Worklife, homelife, and meeting some interesting people Lue finished her degree course and started work in a commercial laboratory. She was lab technician in the research section of the company and she loved the work. Two years later, I also graduated and was promoted into a senior on-the-job trainer role in the company I was working for. The work fascinated me,. The thought of this made me feel a little unwelcome in this new body. It might even set out to kill me off, even though that would obviously kill it too. I shuddered as I thought that, followed by a girlish giggle as I realised that I was doing the shuddering and giggling - we were one and the same.I would now be addressed formally as Miss Tidy or, hopefully someday, as Mrs. Angela Something-else. I would start a new career and would need a new bank account as the old Angela had left me nothing like that. I got out my driving licence again and looked at the signature. I had a chewed ball-pen in my handbag too, so I found a discarded envelope and practised. It was quite easy to copy. It didn't look exactly the same but it didn't need to be if I could get consistent in its new form. Signing my new name "Angela Tidy" made me feelrather more established in it.All the time, I was very conscious of being dressed in a miniskirt and tights. I didn't need to put a hand into my crotch to know.
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