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We ended up breaking up for different reasons and I kept suppressing the thoughts I had of girls – I just thought they were friendship feelings! I never had a lot of ‘girl’ friends so I thought that was just how it was.[/i]“IT FELT AS IF FIREWORKS SET OFF AS WE KISSED” When I was 15, I found a girl that I wanted to go out on a date with and so I sneakily went and we had a kiss at the end of the night. I didn’t even like this girl more than one date but it felt as if fireworks set off as we kissed and all I could think to myself was, “If I feel this way with someone I don’t even know, imagine what it would be like with someone I liked or even loved”.However, even with that, I suppressed everything. I poured my guts to my mom who always thought it was weird how I was with my boyfriends and she was so happy I had such a good night – but I couldn’t accept it. So, I didn’t… and continued hiding my feelings. The big turning point for me came about 3 weeks before my High School Formal. I. I think I could cum just staring at them. Why are you worried?" Well, I know something you don't know... and I'm afraid that you might want mom and Barbara more than you want me, and I know that that will never happen." Huh?" I said. "What are you talking about?" I got this terrible feeling that she thought mom and Barbara were going to die or something, and that they had told her but not me."Well, mom made me promise me not to tell you this, but I think we should have no secrets now that we're lovers," Marie said."No secrets is right," I said. I liked it that she called us lovers. I really did love my little sister, now more then ever."Well, remember when dad left, and we all had a talk about the divorce?"That had been two years before."Sure I remember," I said. "We all sat down and mom and dad told us they weren't in love anymore but they both loved all of us, and that it would be better if he moved out so there wouldn't be so many fights."It was difficult for me to talk, with.
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