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Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”“No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.” A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack.So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000.The teller asks his name and the frog says that. “Master, I think I see her!”I looked ahead, past Sonja, and saw something dark on the side of the road. “Please let it be her.”We rushed over, finding Momo sitting on the side of the road, hugging her knees to her chest, her hood pulled over her face. I crouched down and pulled back her hood. “Momo, what are you doing here?!”She gave me one look and pulled her hood back over her head. “Go away!”“Momo, do you have any idea how worried we were about you?”“Why do you care?”I paused, flabbergasted (yes, flabbergasted) that she really didn’t understand. “Because I love you, you furry little idiot.”She looked up at me, her face wet, but with tears or rain, I couldn’t tell. “Master loves Sonja. Momo saw you two.”“Yes, I love Sonja, but I love you just as much. How could I not love you? You’re like family to me.”“But Master likes playing with Sonja more! Momo knows Master likes her big boobs!”Goddammit, why must she make me laugh at such a tense moment?“Ok, you’re right, she’s got a big pair.
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