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I saw Tish several times during the day, but our schedules kept conflicting so we couldn't even have lunch or dinner together. But she smiled when she saw me and I floated through the day. I arrived promptly at 9 PM, hoping that Lisa was gone because I hadn't visited their room since the kiss-off and I didn't want her to think that I wanted her back in my life, even though a part of me kinda did, no matter how hopeless that was. I was hopeful that Tish would change that.Tish let me in and I looked around for changes since the last time I'd visited. Lisa's side of the room still looked like a trash truck took a dump there and her bed was still a pile of who knows what. Tish's side was organized, except where Lisa's stuff encroached at the margins. It's much how I imagine their minds. I felt tense, not knowing what I should do. But I noticed that four big candles were lit and at least one of them was scented. It was a forest smell, like Pine maybe. Tish started turning off the lights. " I walked in the sex shop and to my chagrin a very attractive and young woman was at the counter. "Why couldn't it be an old woman or an old man???" I had never debased myself purposely in a front of a young attractive woman. My heart beat and I felt so much guilt and shame. I walked around aimlessly looking at the toys and dvds, trying desperately not to look at anything "too gay." Finally, my lust overcame my shame. I picked up a medium butt plug and tried to steel myself and walk up to the counter. I put the butt plug on the counter and hoped that the transaction would be quick. Instead, it felt like it took ages. She glanced slowly, painstaking at the butt plug, looked me straight in the eyes for what felt like a long time and then slowly rang up the shiny purple butt plug. I felt my face flush and my eyes downcast. I had never revealed so much weakness in front of a young attractive woman. I knew when our eyes had met that her assumption of me had changed. Not in a mean way, but.
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