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"Before we start today, let's talk for a few moments." She sits on my bed and I kneel on the floor. "Tell me, what do you think are the characteristics of the ideal slave?"It's a strangely difficult question, because it's such a big question. I've been here so long now and that has been the entire focus of my training. But somehow it doesn't seem as simple as it does when I'm in the middle of a task I have been given — or on my knees in front of the Masters or Mistresses. And then there is the tension inside me when I think about Joe and me. The moments pass and Jo waits patiently, seeing that I'm considering my words carefully."Well, Mistress, I'd say obedience, responding quickly to instructions and carrying them out properly. And respectful behaviour to her owners. And doing what owners want, not what the slave might want and to be content with thinking about what the owner wants first and what the slave — I'll say me — I mean being happy to put what I want second. And not to be. I’m not sure how I managed to untangle myself from his arms but with an agonized ‘Noo’ I pulled away and pressed my back against the elevator door just as it opened with a ‘ping’. Almost falling I fought to right myself before turning and running away from him. His surprised ‘Sasha, what?’ followed me out into the lobby, where I was stopped by the doors, locked at this time of the day. ‘Sasha, wait,’ he called as his quick steps came closer ‘what’s wrong?’ Not successful in my desperate attempt to unlock the door and get away, I heard him closing in and turned to put my back against the door, fear finally finding its way back into my life. Hand held out towards him begging him not to step closer I fought to calm my now panicked breaths. ‘Sasha, please tell me what’s wrong,’ he pleaded ‘wasn’t this what you wanted?’ ‘I’m not Sasha,’ I managed to squeeze out between my white, trembling lips ‘my name is Susan.’ ‘What, wait, what, I don’t get it, you’re not, you’re not Sasha?’ he.
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