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. well all bets are off.”“I get that,” I said as I looked around. “And we’ll pick up the pace for the next couple of days. Will cut the breaks down and rush the cattle a lot more to put some distance between us and this godforsaken spot.”“Won’t Dolan be pissed if they come in skinny,” Benny asked.“Fuck that shit,” I said trying to regain some solidarity with the men. “We have to bring the cattle in, that much is true, but I didn’t say anything about how healthy they had to be, now did I?”A couple of the men chuckled politely, but most didn’t respond at all and simply went back to work as if nothing had even happened.It’s funny how we can instinctively compartmentalizing our thoughts and feelings into separate spaces allowing us to act even when we don’t want to. Without this ability we’d likely have frozen up more times than we’d care to count.Must be a long learned survival mechanism, one gleaned through our history of fighting wars, surviving trauma and working life threatening jobs. They had been supportive of our relationship but cold do nothing to help me. After Michelle got married we would chat some and sometimes they would let me know how she was doing. She seemed happy with her new life so I was shocked to find out that her marriage was over and she was back home, a total of 6 months. It turned out that her hubby, a jerk named Andy had mistreated her in many ways and made her life a living hell. Not only that but when he found out that she was pregnant he decided that she was to go to an unlicensed mid-wife so the baby could be born without a social security number. It also turned out that he had been fooling around on her with both women and men. I went to see her as soon as I could, after she had moved back home. I let her talk and didn’t ask many questions. I tried to be there for her without being pushy, overbearing or even giving her any I-told-you-so feelings. Vanessa was born in 1986 and I was there when mother and daughter came home. I began.
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