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I'm not sure of your motives for changing yourself. Is itreally about fairness? Or is it about grabbing attention for yourself andusing it to step on everyone else as you climb the ladder of life? I'mtrying to figure out what kind of person this makes you." You've got me, Simone." I was nodding my head. "That's the whole moraldilemma of this thing. I have this power, this opportunity. But am I doingthe right thing?" You're trying to rationalize this, aren't you?" Sure," I agreed, before leaning into her body space. "And so are you.Listen to yourself, Sim. You're projecting your own fears. You'rewondering what YOU might do when faced by this temptation."Simone was looking deep into my eyes. "You're right. I'm torn by thisthing, Rob. If it does what you say it does--and I'm not totally sold onwhether it's true, though you clearly believe it is--then this is both ablessing and a curse. I mean, it's great if you can make yourself looklike some stud or a supermodel. But this magic doesn't. April is actually hoping she willgo with you."That comment made me even more uncomfortable, if they were fighting itwould just make April emotionally available and I still thought therewas more to this than Sandy was letting on.Rehearsals were tense as we worked on new material, I had some newsongs but Mel wasn't so keen on my arrangements and kept changing themto suit her vocal style, it was causing tension between us."Mi all these songs are ballads, love songs, they aren't us... We needto stick with what's working. Once we are established, we can playaround with different styles but if we play this stuff now, we'll getlaughed off stage."What hurt was she was right and I could see it, but I felt like I waslosing my identity, all my songs were being transformed into the samething.Three days out from our departure and it was late at night, we hadbeen rehearsing for three hours straight. I looked up and Molly hadburst in through the big front doors and was leaning on a beam herhead in.
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