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Or coeds or co-workers ... but Rafi would have been your first man, as far as I could tell, your first drag queen, and your first of my relatives. It was so juicy, so sinful, so taboo, and so special, at least to me. It was going to be our wicked conspiracy, you, me, and him, and so I wanted to be in on that. That’s what upset me so much that I burned your bridges with my family and damaged your relationship with your parents.“I’m very sorry for that, by the way. I hope that you can forgive me. I was wrong about that. I should have given you a chance to explain yourself, especially since I never expected fidelity or asked for it ... or gave it, for that matter. I fooled around, too, even then. Especially with my ex-boyfriend, Delbert. Other exes, too, mainly. I could resist, mostly, with others, at least in the past, but not with my exes.“Also, I worried that you might be gay and leave me for him ... for Rafi. I guess that I caused myself to lose you, anyway, so that was. At that time I was a virgin in almost every way. I had experimented with a little groping of friendly cocks, and had even sucked on one, and had been sucked in return. I was quite popular with the opposite sex, but only with the "good girls". The other girls were more interested in my more assertive mates. So I had still not "scored" with a girl. I was at, or near, the top of my classes, and quite good at swimming, tennis and cricket - very good in fact. But I shied away from "footie", the most popular, and alpha, sport. So I didn't quite fit in with the "experienced" guys, nor was I fully accepted as a nerd. I was quite fair, tallish, immature sexually and socially, with little or no body hair. I was told that my best features were my blue eyes and blond hair, my long, straight legs, and my cute bubble bum. I was not ruggedly handsome, I was boyishly pretty. But I was quite self-confident, happy in my own skin and easy-going.Joan was like a mother to me, but a mother who I was able.
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