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"What would I want a present from you for?If I want something from you I'll give you an order. What is it anyway?"He squinted at the ring in Cornelius' hand. "Hmm, jewellery. Where didyou get that?" This was really not going well. The King was famously avaricious andCornelius had assumed he would just take anything offered to him withoutquestioning it. "Er, I found it," Cornelius improvised, "during the course of some of myresearches, amongst a horde buried by a great wizard in the old days." You mean it's magic?" said the King, suddenly interested. Cornelius felt a cold sweat run down his back. He knew he was digginghimself into a hole, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't back out now. "Er, yes. It is magic." Yes," said the King, "I can see the occult symbols carved on it. Whatdoes it do?" It, um..." Think! Think! Cornelius told himself. "It's, er, a ring ofhealth. If you wear it night and day it will ward off sickness and keepyour energy levels topped up to the. You can't eat those."I immediately felt like a one-inch dick, because she knew that. She was the one who'd shoved them up there. Duh!!"I'm not going to eat them," she said. "You are. There's seven hotdogs there. That's your lunch for the next week. Bon appetite!" 2. CISSY SERVICES SHARON'S SWORDOne day Sharon came home with a vibrator. I watched as she took it from the box and began fiddling with it. Although it was fairly long - perhaps 7-8" - it was very thin. I asked her why she got one so "small" as most women go for a really big one.She patted me on the head (I was on my knees before her like a good sissy slave) and said there were two reasons."First, this isn't for me, it's for you and where it's going, there may not be enough room for anything bigger. Yet."I gulped."And second, considering that pathetic little baby sardine you're packing between your legs, I didn't want to make you feel too jealous and inadequate. As it was, I took the smallest they had and the storeowner said.
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