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Having been married for so long, allowing myself to feel these feelings was essentially a new experience because the last time such a thing happened I was 19 years old. It is almost comical how we humans deal with such things, trying to coyly drop hints that we are available, or not available, or what have you. In a moment that I will never forget as long as I live, I decided in an almost dispassionate way that it was time to get on with living, and I decided to take a huge chance. I suggested that Jason and I continue our conversation in a hotel room, my treat. He was stunned for a few seconds and then asked what exactly I meant. I simply reached across the table and held his hand and said that I thought he was a warm, kind person and I needed spontaneity in my life. I’m not getting any younger, I explained, and I let too many days go by with regrets and the sadness that accompanied them. I want nothing from you, I explained, except a few moments of intimacy and to share the new. ”“The ball’s been in your court since last summer,” she said.“I know. I promise we’ll talk towards the end of January.”We said our goodbyes and hung up. I pulled out the note that I had with the psychology department head’s name and number and dialed Madison. I reached a secretary who was horrified when I told her about Bethany, and took down all the information. She said she would call Doctor Krieg immediately and if she could reach him, have him call me back right away. If she couldn’t reach him, she’d call me back to let me know. I thanked her and turned on my computer to write in my journal while I waited.I wrote some random thoughts, knowing I probably didn’t have time to expand on them, but making sure I had prompts for filling out the journal entries when I had some time. About five minutes later, the phone rang.“Mr. Adams? This is Doctor Krieg from the University of Wisconsin.”“Hi Doctor Krieg, I assume your assistant filled you in?”“She did. What hospital is Bethany in?” he.
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