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"I looked into JR's eyes. He smiled and said, "Honey, this isn't a contest. No one's keeping score. We don't have to go tit for tat. We have a few days left of The Program and our agreement. Don't waste them. I don't what you to wonder about how it could have been."Sometimes I swear JR can read my mind. Damn I love that guy! JR gave me an open door, a door I wasn't sure I wanted to go through. It wasn't that I was afraid of what may be on the other side, I was afraid of not being able to get back. There was something grinding away inside me, something I couldn't put my finger on, but it was there nonetheless.It wasn't emptiness; JR did more than enough to make sure of that. No, it was something else. I gave JR a kiss, watching as he walked into the girls' locker room. I couldn't help wondering if JR had his own doors to the unknown.When I went into the boys' locker room, I was greeted by the whistles and cat calls I had gotten all week. I held my head high as I walked the gauntlet.. Ben would come over and we would hang out and if my parents would allow us to leave, we would go to our spot and make out. When I got back home, I would shower and go to bed. Most nights I would just stare at my ceiling fan and think. I thought about a lot of things, but mostly about sex. Ben and I had been pleasuring each other for a while, but I knew that we had not gone all the way. To be honest, we had never seen each other completely naked. I had seen him without his shirt and I had seen him without his pants, but never at the same time. Sunday finally came and all my friends were home. When I got to church, I went straight to Lauren to find out how much fun they had. When I approached her I could tell something was different about her, but I did not know what. All during the sermon I tried to figure out what was different about my best friend. She didn’t look sick or anything, but there was just something. As we walked out of the church, I took her by the arm and pulled her.
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