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His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room. And he’d found out. The motherfucker didn’t live to regret his mistake. He’d died with a grenade in his mouth. ‘Cat got your tongue?’ was the last thing Hansen had said to him before his head had disappeared in different directions. Now it was going to be fat fuck’s time. Fuck you, fat fuck. He smirked. If he’d asked for payment by the kilo, then it might been an even more lucrative job. You’re a card, Hansen. But as he looked down on the water, his look was grim. There was no humour in his eyes. He turned away from the edge of the pier and looked towards the lights of the city. ‘I need a fucking beer,’ he muttered, and strode away from the shed. It’s your funeral, fat fuck, and I’m not going. ***** Hansen headed to his favorite bar. He only had two rules when it came to bars, they had to be dark and they had to serve beer. It made it pretty easy to find one. No point limiting your options. Here in the concrete facades of the city, the wind collected and funneled down the streets..
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