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But I was so lonely that I had to do it.“My first lover was a skater because that’s who I was around. I was lonely, and I thought that was a way to solve the problem. It wasn’t. It worked for a short time, but in the end, it just became about quick meetings for sex and then back to skating. It was fun, but I was still lonely.”“What are you going to do when you go to the US? I won’t be there with you like I am here.”“I know. But I don’t think that far ahead about anything but skating. I’ll deal with it when the time comes.”I wanted to feel bad for her, but she had chosen this path through life and it was her own drive and determination that created the situation. It was sad that the only way for her to achieve her goal was a commitment that cut her off from normal relationships.I pulled her tight and she once again curled up in my lap. I was surprised how light and small she was, but it made sense for an ice dancer that had just turned fourteen. We stayed just like that, holding each. Then you go off to play the hero by risking your life to safe Molly’s family without even knowing them. Her friends still can’t believe that you saved their lives because she is your best friend and that you would never ask for anything in return from any of them. She had to explain it to them many times for them to get it. Trudy did make sure they knew that should they feel so inclined to thank you intimately, you would likely refuse them if you felt they were just doing it because they thought you earned it, not because they wanted to have sex with you. Your mom sat with me to let me know that you put your entire life on hold to be there with the four girls after the accident and wouldn’t leave until they were all deemed ready to come home. You spent months by her side David. She would have completely understood your needing to take a break for time to yourself, and yet here you are playing pretend to help her put her past behind her. I know you aren’t doing it to get sexual.
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