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If you’ve got one of the apps I worked on, the ones with the bugs you don’t see, then I know. All those zombies walking the streets with their faces stuck in their phones? I know.I don’t just fix other people’s apps, I wrote my own. To sell? No, I give my app away for free, isn’t that nice of me? It’s so free you don’t even know you’ve got it. It’s hidden on your phone and every minute you spend looking at your phone you’re looking at my app as well. I call it SHA-1: “Subliminal Hypnosis App-1”. Great name, yeah? Great for me anyway.So, what does my app do? Rather than bore you with the technical details, I’ll tell you a story. Some company needs me to fix their crappy app. They want a face-to-face meeting to set things up so they book me into a hotel, a good hotel mind you, I don’t come cheap. In the hotel that evening I fire up my master app, the one I have the only copy of. That lets me have a look around. Who’s running my free app nearby? Any selfies? Pick a few likely prospects.. Beverly who was her mom’s friend and a hairstylist was going to be coming over to do her hair for her shortly. While she was laying things out her mom came in the room. “Laura. Beverly called to say something came up and that she’d be about a half hour early,” her mom told her. “You’d better hop in the shower as soon as David finishes. Oh and she said to make sure to use a lot of conditioner when you wash your hair.” She then went back downstairs. She wanted to make sure the camera had fresh film to take plenty of pictures of the two of them before they left.As soon as her mom went downstairs, she stripped and joined her brother in the shower. It was really nothing new for either of them. They had become quite used to sharing the bathroom and even the shower together.“Davy, Beverly is coming early,” she told him. “Wash my hair for me and use lots of conditioner.”David had come to enjoy washing his sister’s hair for her and he was nearly done with his shower anyway. “Be happy too,.
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