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Another year I was a witch, with gray tights, a nice blackdress, big sunglasses, and a great (handmade) witch's hat: that outiftbrought a "great costume!" from a passerby that I'm pretty sure wasunaware that I was a guy.No leaving work early this year. But Harley tugged at me all day, and Icontemplated dressing again after the last treat-or-treaters had gone.(In our town, trick-or treating ends at 8:00.)As I said in the last installament, my wife knows of my dressing, but haspreferred not to see or think about it. She and I usually watch some TVafter dinner, and she usually heads up for a long bath around 8:00,sometimes coming back down at 10 for The Daily Show. I could probably putthe costume back on after she went up, and take it off at 10, I thought.Or just keep it on, and see what she thinks, tempted my inner Harley.I got home at 6:00. When changing out of my suit, that same inner Harleysuggested that I go ahead and pad my hips and butt, and put on my tightsand fishnets. . Cooking lessons, a pretty pinny, Two Spirit New Girls, a chat withBarbara and good news.5"How good you cook?" Maria looked me up and down. "You learn how tomake you beautiful and will make man happy but to keep love you learn tofeed man well or he leave." I can't really cook. Well eggs and chips, sausages and mash, stuff likethat and if I'm pushed, spaghetti bolognaise from supermarket sauces, notmuch else." That bad food will make you fat like Maria." She patted her stomach."But Maria not interested in men now, had three husbands in Spain, twodied and the last, he thought more of wine than Maria and never work so Isend him away and come to England to teach English how to cook good food,fresh food, plenty fish, fruit and vegetables. So now Maria teach you.Roast lamb, roast and boiled potatoes, spinach, broccoli and peas andthen good girls who eat dinner have fresh fruit and ice cream." I know how to slice or dice fruit," I replied hopefully."Good then Maria do that if you already.
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