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Of course her face was better defined that mine, the only fat she wascarrying was the kind women are supposed to have, but she looked like thesister I'd never had.I found myself reaching out, hoping that my fingertips would brush hers,but all they felt was the cool glass and calling myself an idiot I pickedup my coat, hung over the impossible refection and climbed back into bed.To be awoken some time later by a light tapping on the internal door tomy parents" room."Georgie? Georgie!" my mum called. Blinking sleep and dreams from my eyesI saw the handle turn and Mum's round face peep around."Hello, darling," she said when she saw me awake (just). We're going tobreakfast, you've had a good sleep. Can you get ready?" Hi, Mum," I started to say, but my voice felt tight in my throat so Icoughed to clear it. It sounded high this morning, like I'd never gonethrough puberty."Have a drink of water," she said and hurried over to offer me the glassfrom my bedside table.As I lifted my arm from. I want, to look across a crowded room, into his eyes, and feel a connection. When I look up and find his eyes on me, his gaze twisting around mine, tripping over me, landing on the placed I love to be touched most. What I have when I look across that crowded room is someone who glances at me briefly, then looks away as if I am someone who has just crossed past a corner in his life. I hold no true importance. Easily dismissible. Someone once asked me what I thought was worst, A) to live your life once know passion, but to have lost it, or B) to live your life never knowing passion at all. I of course, very predictable, chose A. For I have once lived my life with passion, whether it was showered upon me or it simple poured from thee self. My sentences are jumbled…my thoughts are lost to me … all I know is I don’t recognize myself these days. I try to find my solace in nature. In the summer I can be found swimming at midnight under the stars. And when the weather grows cold and rainy.
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