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He could not cover himself with socks! Alex was startled from his reverie by an amused voice "my, my what have we here"? Alex turned and saw to his horror his fat, middle aged neighbor standing with yet another basket of laundry. "Looks like someone got wet...." and, as Alex saw her eyes sweep from his wet hair over his naked chest to linger at his sopping wet underpants, she said absently "well, my my my"! Alex had always disliked her shrill voice, and had rebuffed her attempts at friendliness from the very first day he they had met, when she had presented a welcoming batch of cookies on his moving-in day. There was something supremely irritating to Alex about her ever-cheerful manner, and he had put an end to her overtures of friendliness by complaining to the management about the yapping noise of her pet terrier. Worst of all to Alex, she was ugly. Fat and ugly. Now he stood speechless before her, distinctly at the disadvantage.He stammered an explanation of his predicament to. .. I guess she has left me. That's all I can make of this." Now was the time to switch gears emotionally, if I were to carry this off for the benefit of the Deputy. It was time for the aggrieved husband to strike out in righteous anger."Just WHEN did the Sherriff's office begin investigating the dalliances of slut wives who whore themselves out while their ... BELOVED and trusting fools of husbands work to provide for them?" I stood and began to pace and wave my arms to add to the dramatic look of things. Then I paused to give the Deputy my best snarling look.He was obviously a veteran of many of these types of situations, as he was not fazed a bit. In fact, he looked slightly bored by the whole thing."Mr. Simmons, we do not investigate cases of adultery, or 'dalliances, ' as you call them. But we do investigate matters when those dalliances may be the instigating cause behind felony aggravated assault and battery, and possibly attempted murder," he said without raising his voice one.
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