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’ ‘I see. Are you struggling with literary integrity?’ ‘Yes and no. They’re paying me, and you know I can always use more money, but I feel like if I change my work I’ll be changing myself to fit someone else’s mold.’ ‘Probably wouldn’t have to if you wrote that white man pain bullshit.’ ‘Right!’ she lowers her voice, and makes a frown. ‘My life is just so hard. My girlfriend dumped me and then I saw her favorite flower. Reminded me of this time she gave me a blow job. Now I’ll never have that again. Let me just go kill myself.’ Her voice changes back to normal and she makes a popping sound, ‘And just like that you have a New York Times’ Bestseller and winner of a fucking million awards.’ We laugh and commiserate about how difficult it is to be women writers. For a second, I’m not thinking about anything but the difficulty of getting my stuff read, let alone published because my full name is Raiqah Muhammad Hussein. With a Moroccan father and white American mother, I’m interesting but. Tanya gave my tushy one final slap, sending a smacking sound ringing around the small room, before climbing off me and using her foot to nudge me onto my back. Even the small motions of Tanya arranging my arms down by my side would cause my body to cry out for mercy.Although I could sense Tanya standing astride me I didn’t dare open my eyes, I was scared to even look at her, especially in such a classically dominant pose as she flaunted her power and superiority over me. Obviously upset by my passivity without warning she dropped her full weight, bottom first, onto my weakened belly; once again I felt my lungs empty as my body convulsed.The next thing I knew my eyes were gradually focusing on the face cruelly leering down on me, as she perched just below my chest with my arms pinned to my side by her legs. Shaking her head Tanya tutted down at me;“Tsk Tsk I thought I’d explained the rules about going to sleep without my permission”.Her smile grew wider and more sinister;“I think I’m.
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