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This is where some stuck up PC feminist shrink bitch will tell you that I was “objectifying” Tami. That is utter bullshit. What fun would it be to rape and torture a girl who I saw as nothing but some sort of meat-filled sex doll? Look, I am not some run-of-the-mill psychopath who can’t comprehend the emotions of others. I love, I care, I feel compassion and human connection, I experience empathy as intensely as anyone and more intensely than most. Never is that more true than when I give myself over completely to the darkness. That is when I am most acutely, profoundly, viscerally aware of the glowing beauty of a girl’s unique, complex, irreplaceable human soul. It is that individual, precious being, and not some “object,” that I revel in torturing, raping, degrading, and ultimately destroying.That is the nature of my darkness. I am not a psychopath. A psychopath is just broken. My evil is something that a mere psychopath could never begin to understand.But those are topics for. Over the next 6 months my behaviour became obsessive, and the frequency of such events increased to at least twice a week. The more frequent I did it, the more careless I became. First, I was not so careful about the way I put the lingerie back in the bag and secondly I was beginning to get cum on the lingerie. I got cum on the lingerie because I was not just wanking over it on the desk; I was actually wearing it while I was wanking. Yes, I was imagining myself as Caroline's sissy. I dressed up and strutted around in her stockings, suspenders, knickers and bra. There in my darkened office, late at night, sometimes in the early hours of the morning I would walk around in Caroline's lingerie, and then adding one of her dresses and also a pair of her shoes. I became a total sissy, but the ejaculations, when I allowed myself to cum, were absolutely fantastic; the best I have ever had. But I really could not control them by now, so from time to time I would get cum all over the underwear.
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