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Relieved, mostly, I guess.’ ‘Me too. It was an overwhelming experience. Almost too much for me.’ ‘I can imagine. Especially after they got you so often in the beginning.’ ‘That was pretty horrible indeed.’ ‘It took me quite some effort to come to terms with it all,’ Ashley said, looking at the wall. ‘I had to disconnect myself from my body. I had to tell myself all the time, don’t let them play with your mind. Don’t let them play with your mind. They only care about your body. And when I started to realise that indeed they only want my body, it got easier. The last day I actually managed to enjoy.’ ‘Will you do this again?’ ‘Maybe. Time will tell, everything hurts, including my mind – too much happened. I have to go cash that cheque, that will help me heal, I’m sure. I’m going to get cash, I don’t want to have to explain to anyone why I suddenly have so much money in my account. I can start saving a bit now, finally I don’t have to worry so much about money any more. Do another few. I knew we were in big trouble. I also knew that everything might have been for nothing, anyway. There was a good chance Myriam would run off again the moment we arrived. And even if she didn't at once, it might be a matter of time.She had held me tight, almost desperate, the first twenty miles after we dumped Enthwistle. She'd kissed and thanked me — pushing her half naked body into mine. She had cried.Erica had driven a while, then I had taken over the wheel — telling the girls to get some sleep.I glanced back again. Streetlights washed over Myriam's face — she looked relaxed. There was a little smile around her lips. She was intelligent. She must know how deep the shit was that she had sank us into. Or I, for that matter. But for the moment she seemed beyond that.I wondered who she was now and that thought brought a dark cloud with it. In the magazine pictures and at the engagement party there hadn't been a sign of Estelle around. Nor had I seen any of the vulgar behavior that came.
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