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Now comes the really strange part; the part that changed the direction of my sex life from that day forward. I realized as I stood there that all those stains left by some strange man on my bed sheets were making me hot. The thought of climbing into that dirty bed and sleeping where another person had been before me made me feel funny and it turned me on. That's just what I did too. I undressed, brushed my teeth and crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over me. I could smell the man's essence and also that stale greasy smell of McDonalds fries and I slowly fingered myself until I came with a jerking lustful uninhibited groan. It was just all so dirty and I loved it. I didn't tell the maid to clean my room the next day and since I had to stay in Seattle for a total of three days I slept in that strange man's stains for two more days. That was the beginning of my fetish. I think I have to call it a fetish because I know it isn't normal, the fact that I like to be subjected to. I always wanted to be her friend, but I was afraid people would think I was weird too, and I didnt want to get hit. I hit puberty in the 8th grade. I started to masturbate. All I thought of was Jess. It sounds weird but I was in love with this girl. One time, I was doing my thing, my dad walked in. He got really mad and hit me really bad. I have scars on my back from that one time. He also gave me a black eye and a gash on my head. I told everyone I got into a fight. I thought I was bound to end up like my dad, so I distanced myself from girls. They deserve better than what I could give them. I couldnt give them the happy life other guys could. I hated myself. Jess was avoiding me. I asked her if I could talk to her this weekend. She agreed. ***THIS IS NOW FROM JESS VIEW POINT*** It was a Saturday in April when I met him in the park. Nate was sitting on a bench. I walked over and sat next to him. Whats up? I asked. We didnt look at each other. I want to explain. He said. Explain.
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