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"One!" he cried, after his breath returned to his lungs.Another smack of the paddle burned through the right hemisphere of his ass, every bit as cruel and punishing as its predecessor. He closed his eyes tight, and through clenched teeth, yelled, "Two!"A third strike immediately followed, kissing both cheeks as it landed perfectly across the center, "Three!"The paddling proceeded at a steady beat, the timing between each swat administered slow enough to where the Squirrel felt the full impact of wood on furry nether flesh, but not so slow as to give him any respite between strikes. The lounge was filled with the sounds of punishment mixed with Hansen's pained cries as he numbered each smack, sounds which spilled out above the streets and the third floor hallway through the open doors. By the thirtieth swat, Hansen was blinking back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes; his little bottom felt as if it was on fire. By the thirty fifth, his will broke and his whole body was. "I went out to milk the cows the other day and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose farm borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free range chicken. When I told him I didn't have any, he angrily left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"In an effort to stop the illegal American aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them nonetheless. He then installed 5,000 Watt loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the border, but they just keep on coming.Canadian officials are particularly concerned about American smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, promising them that they will be delivered to safe haven in Canada. They pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the batteries die. "A lot of these people are not.
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