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”“I love you too,” she said, snuggling against his chest. “I’ve decided to go to the doctor and get him to give me the pill, l’m over eighteen now so l don’t need my parent’s permission, the trouble is, it will take time before l’m safe, we won’t be able to do it again until then, l can still use my hand though.”“You don’t have to,” he said.“But l want to,” she replied, rolling on top of him then kneeling astride him sitting on his thighs, she took hold of his cock with both hands. “I think he’s beautiful,” she said, stroking him gently, smiling when she saw an immediate reaction. “You like that don’t you?”“Of course l do,” he replied, “but it’s not a condition, you only do what you want, if you don’t want to do it it’s not a big deal.”“No, l want to,” she insisted, “look how he reacts, he’s so gorgeous, and he felt so good inside me, what if we try again now, let me stay on top then l can control it.”“Only if we use this,” he said, reaching for his last condom on the bedside table,. It took a number of hours of soul-searching contemplation to get back most of her pride and self-confidence. Most, but not all.She couldn't quite forgive herself for betraying the private, secret relationship between Terry and herself. She tried to convince herself that it was not a serious betrayal, because in all the intervening years, Terry had not searched her out and claimed her as he had promised.And after all, she told herself, she was only flesh and blood -- female at that -- and could not be expected to suffer physical agony to keep a secret that might have meaning only to herself.Yet, it had been her own voluntary blurting out of the first treacherous and prideful words that had started it. If she was so quick to betray their treasured relationship out of pride how could she blame it on the fear of pain?No -- she could never quite regain the entire person that had been Palmyra Weston before that betrayal.For a while, it had consoled her to delude herself that her underlying.
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