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The boys knew we had a problem but had no idea what was about to happen. They took Robbie in his stroller, and Kyle walked along.Marsha looked at me when they left, she was already crying.I said, "Marsha, I gave this as much thought as I could. I can't live with you any longer, my heart burns, because of what you did to me. I know of no way to forgive you. I wish I could, but I'm human and not able. I talked to a lawyer today and will explain what we talked about." We have had a lot of good years together. I can't just throw you out and give you nothing. There's times I feel like it, just throw your ass out, and say take that slut! Go whore yourself and make a living. I'm just not made like that Marsha."Here is what I propose:"For now I am getting a separation agreement. You can live here with our sons. They need a home and a mother, even though you feel you don't get the attention you want. I am getting an apartment near by so the boys can see me whenever they want, and we can still. THAT..." I was notready for this conversation with my Mom, with my boyfriend getting the'talk' from Pop. The whole situation was surreal.As she started to regain control of her laughing, and had stifled it tothe occasional giggle. She told me, "Sweetie I know you aren't, and Istill believe we can trust you on that... Your face though, as soon asyou saw him... I haven't ever seen you smile that big. You really docare about him, don't you?"Smiling sheepishly, I said, "Yeah mom, I do." Do you think you love him?" she asked me more seriously.I was unsure of the answer at first. "Mom I don't know... I mean,maybe?" I said without much conviction. Then I started thinking aboutthe first time I met him and how infuriating he was, but how I had alsostarted looking forward to seeing him on my runs. The conversations thatwe had, and the verbal sparring we did, and how our friendship hadstarted. Then I remembered that meltdown he witnessed and how hecomforted me, how he was so patient when it.
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