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I beg you, please don’t. I can’t bare your scorn. Not now, not ever.” I got up to try to gather some clothing all the while willing myself not to burst into tears when Mike forcefully said, “Shut the fuck up and lay your slutty ass back down. Do you think I am letting you go anywhere? Fat fucking chance! Do you know how many guys dream of having a hot little fuck whore like you? Well, I don’t really know if they do or not but who gives a fuck. I have myself the hottest, nastiest little slut that anyone could ever hope for. And besides that, you are my love. How am I supposed to live without my love?”I said, “What? I thought…”“You thought what?” he interrupted, “That I could just stop loving you? I guess you know the real me about as well as I know the real you. Let’s get your skanky little ass cleaned up then I’ll make you breakfast and you can fill me in on some of the things you are most ashamed of having done and I’ll fill you in on how much I adore you.” With that, I couldn’t. As a method of relieving sexual tension masturbation is a poor substitute when you have a real sex object that you love and lust for, and that's how it was with me in relation to mother. She and she alone, could satisfy my sexual appetite, and as I cleaned up my sperm and rose from the bed, I felt even more gloomy.I dressed but hesitated to leave my room. I felt as if I couldn't face mother, but eventually I had to. Mother was there at the kitchen end of the living area peeling some potatoes. Her back was toward me, but she must had heard me because she turned her head to look at me and then turned quickly away. There was something furtive about our behaviour, as if we were either embarrassed or ashamed at having masturbated, or more likely the reason why we had masturbated. I wanted to offer to help mother, but there seemed to be a barrier between us that vetoed even that. I escaped the overpowering atmosphere by leaving the house and taking a walk along the cliff top. It was a long.
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