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For a while we drifted on the borders of awareness still united in the flesh, but at length our bodies parted, and with a deep sigh of contentment, I fell into a deep sleep curled up in his strong arms where I lay until the early light of dawn peeped through the slats of the shuttered windows. When I woke, I felt a sense of belonging and being needed such that I had not known since I was a child. Every night of our journey from thence, wherever we were lodged and however many men to whom I gave my services — for that was the only employment that I knew and I had to earn my daily bread — I would make my way to his bed to fall asleep within the safety and comfort of his arms. We are now but a days journey from the centre of the great City of London. As we have traveled these last few days there has been much coming and going on the road of carts laden with goods, all making their way to the greats markets there and for the great Fair that we are told takes place tomorrow eve on the. Ipreferred being in their company to boys. I thought they were by farthe nicest sex, the nicest to be with and spend time with. And yes, Isuppose I admired their femininity. And not in a male way. Being withand around girls always seemed right for me. And when you came into mylife, I found it easy to fall in love with you. Maybe not entirely in away that's usual for most men, but honestly, just as real for me. Whenwe married I was in love with you. I still am. I know there are somemen out there who get married to give them legitimacy, who do it tohide from the world who they really are. Some gay men, sometranssexuals, yes. But I swear that wasn't in my mind. Also, when wegot married, although I said I knew I was female inside, there wasstill a part of me saying "THIS" can be beaten. A part of me that said"THIS" can be buried deep enough so that it won't affect my life. Ialways thought I was going to beat "IT". To be honest, I think that'sthe case for many of the "men" in my.
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