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We switched pretty much every time after that and I developed my love of being both closely intimate with a sexual partner while also being a bottom. My view and genuine consideration of being a trans girl really flourished at this time, granted it was still very focused on sexual desire and was highly fetishized in my own mind. Regardless, Jamie opened up my mind to genuinely considering transition. Pressure to be “traditional” in the eyes of family and friends held me back and kept me from moving in that direction at the time but the desire grew. A few sexual experiences with girls, guys, and trans girls continued throughout college and there was a time near graduation where I was more-or-less dating a guy, but only when I was fem. He had his own place in downtown and lived with a few of his friends, he was “straight” but liked trans girls because we tend to try much harder to be feminine than genetic girls in some cases (likely because we’re less likely to take femininity for. ?That’s not fair!? I’d said angrily as she pointed at the pile of unwashed dishes.?Fair doesn’t enter into this,? she said simply.?Dammit, I’m not your slave!?She actually laughed. ?Hmmm, no. It’s a lovely idea though,? she said.?Dammit Teresa!? I raged.She smiled and went the the calendar. A string of big red Xs, two weeks worth.?Dammit – Teresa,? she said, crossing off two extra days. ?Want to argue some more???This is stupid!? I muttered.?This – is – stupid,? she crossed off three more days. ?Darling, that’s almost an extra week! By all means, continue to argue.?I shut up and did the dishes.It became her standard method of ending arguments. Anything she told me to do, if I argued she would start adding days right then and there.I rapidly learned just how big a deal that was. By the fourth day in the cage, my balls were tingling almost constantly. It didn’t hurt, but it was always there in the background, a never ending presence that just nagged and nagged and nagged without.
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