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At such times I could even believe it myself, blissfully. These days she merely nodded when I informed her I was going, then returned to her work. She knew that now and then I had to be seen by others. Most of the year I dressed only for my mirror and my own delight. But now and then I needed to feel ratified in the eyes of others, confirmed in my femininity by their vision of me. I spent as much time as I could in my special feminine room feeling dainty, pretty, and affectionate in ways men never dare. I loved the feel of nylon and silk on my thighs, and I appreciated my own good taste when choosing the textures, colors, designs, and styles of the ensembles I wore. I loved seeing a flash of bright red on my fingertips, and glimpses of myself reflected in the mirror as no way masculine, rather distinctly ladylike, even coquettish, desirable. I felt sweetly serene at such moments. I felt nice. A girl should always feel nice. Being called "Ma'am" by some sales clerk felt. Life was not kind to Mom, she sometimes wished, when she watched her daughter, that she had her childhood back. Life was so much easier without the bill paying, and the other tribulations found in an adult's life.The small child suddenly grabbed her milk off the counter, scaring the Mom half out of her mind, and started drinking. When the little girl finally cleared her snack from her mouth she said, "Mom, I almost forgot." And she rushed off to her abandoned backpack, dropped by the kitchen door upon entry. I have a note from Mrs. Perkins for you.Dread filled Mom's stomach as she imagined the worse. "What did this precious little child do that was so terrible that it warranted a "note"? was the first thought in her mind.That thought quickly fled upon Mom seeing that the: "note" was actually a flyer printed too many times on the Xerox copier in the office at school. It was a copy of a copy of a copy, ad infinitum, with all the attending lines burned into the product and the faded.
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