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He cheated on me. I tried to hold my cool even though I wanted to kill him. He did tell me it was a one-time thing and he felt sorry about it. He asked me if I wanted him to leave, which of course would mean the start of a divorce. I loved him but at the same time I hated him for what he had done to our marriage. Looking back I guess I could have kicked his ass out and divorced him, but I still loved him. I wanted revenge but at the same time I knew I wasn’t the type to cheat on him. That’s when I told him he could stay. I would no longer sleep in the same room with him or if he chose he could just leave. I left it up to him. He chose to stay. Yes, I held back sex. That was my revenge on him. As a family we still did things together, attended all the parties and family events. No one that I know of knew about our sexual problems. To the world, we were still the perfect couple, but inside I was hurting. I did go out with my girlfriends maybe once every couple of months. We went out to. I just had a life to lead. I was 20 when it happened and I had ambitions to pursue – ambitions which could best be pursued in London, not this small town on the Norfolk coast. I was a talented illustrator, and although you can work remotely, and could even in those days, to make a day-to-day living from it, I wanted to be in the thick of it, moving in the right circles, getting to know people.And it had worked. I had established myself on the books of a prominent agency and been called upon to work on all sorts of assignments, from food packaging to small books.I was back home for the 20th anniversary of the crash. It wasn't billed like that, of course. My Mum had just said it would be nice if I could be around on the date that year, so I took two weeks off and got the train from Liverpool Street station to Norwich and down to Cromer. Staying in your mother's house when you're 40 is quite strange. She lived an old lady's lifestyle. The house was quiet, with just the ticking of an old.
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