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H.... continued kind and tender to me; yet, with all this, I was far from happy: for, besides my regrets for my dear youth, which, though often suspended or diverted, still returned upon me in certain melancholic moments with redoubled violence, I wanted more society, more dissipation.As to Mr. H.... he was so much my superior in every sense, that I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the gratitude I owed him. Thus he gained my esteem, though he could not raise my taste; I was qualified for no sort of conversation with him, except one sort, and that is a satisfaction which leaves tiresome intervals, if not filled up by love, or other amusements.Mr. H...., so experienced, so learned in the ways of women, numbers of whom had passed through his hands, doubtless, soon perceived this uneasiness, and, without approving, or liking me the better for it, had the complaisance to indulge me.He made suppers at my lodging, where he brought several companions of his pleasures, with their. Besides, $100's were all I had. I left the salon after purchasing a complete set of the makeup andcleansers they had used on me, and headed to the dress shop. I walked in,and again realized I had no idea what to get. I looked around cluelessfor five minutes when a lady came up and tapped me on the shoulder. "You look a little lost. Would you like some help?" I was relieved, and I'm sure it showed on my face. "Yes, I would lovesome. My parents are flying in to see me tomorrow, and I would like anice dress to wear. I think it's time I started dressing a little moreadult." "Well, with your figure, you'll look beautiful in anything. Come withme." We went and looked at a lot of different dresses, and I bought a coupleof bras, panties, two new pairs of jeans, three blouses, and a sundressthat looked really nice on me. It seemed funny to me that just thismorning I would have laughed at anyone, and told them they were nuts ifthey'd even suggested to me that I would be trying on dresses.
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