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“Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.9. I’m not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.10. Out of my mind ... Back in five minutes.11. God must love stupid people; He made so. “Mmm tasty sir, so very Mmm tasty sir” she sighed as she cleaned around the tip then licking down the shaft to my soaked balls, she took it all in the stride before getting off the bed and looking at me said, “I think my hamstring is fine now sir, shall I start the cleaning for you now sir?” which to be honest I had totally forgotten about.She slipped on her shorts and tee shirt, no idea where her panties were so maybe she was leaving them with me as a souvenir and once I regained my composure I jumped off the bed grabbing my boxers, “Oh yes Nikki, not much to do though but bed needs making in the guest room” I replied showing her where everything was.“I will go and get you another drink so come down when you are ready” I said softly, “Mmm yes please, thank you sir” she replied and I left her to it.I made some fresh juice and grabbed a beer and had a quick tidy up downstairs, I could hear lots of movement upstairs and was pleased that Nikki was cracking on with what she was actually.
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