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The midget fumed. Orgasm Research moved from the middle of his shit list to the top, replacing his arch enemy Bell Telephone.The thought of Dr. Prong remained with him all night, as he ground out his nihilist vacation memo on the office Xerox. He was still fuming when he returned to his pantry-size room at the YMCA and slipped the bolt (installed by himself) against the wandering and prehensile faggots who infested the halls. Dr. Roger Prong, supervisor of orgasms, and now ready to dive headfirst into a barrel of Pussiettes. The midget suffered at the thought.Savagely, he took out his deck of pornographic Tarot cards and prepared to masturbate. The one shame of his life was his continuing virginity, for which he could see no remedy. Women of his own stature turned him off entirely (there was something i****tuous about even approaching them). The giant, so-called "normal" women were the Holy Grail to him—especially the foldouts inPussycat—but he was afraid to approach them.Every time. Gary noticed and grinned a big grin and whispered, ‘Sarah, come here…’ he put an arm around my waist, smiled down into my face, ‘No problem,’ he grinned putting his chin to mine to whisper in my ear, ‘He’s gone.’ Indeed, the squirt had taken one look at Gary’s impressive frame and proprietary attitude, he’d gone back to the bar and his mates. From that night Gary became my F.O.G. or ‘fuck off guy’. I explained this context to some of the girls in the office and that was enough for them. A few even commented that I should make him my boyfriend for real! As that long summer drew into a warm and balmy June, I received an invite from my University for a Centenary ball, and I was very tempted to go but wasn’t sure. If I was going there was one guy I knew I could rely on to come with me. Chatting with Gary over our Thursday meal, he said that he was going to have a weekend away on his next respite weekend and planned to do some camping and fishing in the West Country. ‘I’m going to my old.
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