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.. um... you know... that," she reached out and touched the slowly rising bulge at his crotch, "Into mommy down there." Oh," he said with realization. "You are talking about intercourse."She nodded. "Why can't I feel what that feels like?" Well, hmmmm," he began to search for an answer. "I worry that it might hurt you. You are still pretty small down there." It won't hurt Daddy!" she exclaimed, sitting up excitedly. "Please Daddy! Please let me feel it, just this once!" Baby..." he started to protest, "I don't think it would be a good idea."Her bottom lip protruded and her brows furrowed as she tried to think of some way to persuade him."I'll do anything you want," she whispered, looking up at him demurely.He laughed, which made the pout even more pronounced. "You already do anything I want." Please Daddy, for my birthday; since I'm almost a teenager now."His instincts said no, but his body was screaming yes... especially with her lithe naked body pressing against him. He couldn't. ) I wrote it about twoyears ago, and going to the commentary makes me realize how much of aprissy fuck I really was.The comments pretty much boiled down to:* I appreciate the points you made about the quality of writing "But your intro really sets you up for failure."It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so self-consciously self-contradictory, self-vaunting and self-evasive, I hardly know where to begin. So I'll won't begin. I'll end.Forget yourself. Just write the best you know how and let your readersjudge. Some will be grateful." Vickie, keep on writing. Every paragraphwas a punch to the gut - no, not so much a punch, as it was an attempt toremove a very large distasteful blockage from one's inner airway. Thankyou. Don't apologize to anyone. In the mildly paraphrased words of TinaFey, "Bitch is the.
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