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” Knead dough until smooth, and roll until flat. I need to drink some whiskey from a flagon. For the next round, auntie and my girl exchanged the nastiest stares. As I cut my noodles into thin strips, I feel so very scared. After a seeming eternity, my sweetheart screams, “Dzukli,” and spits on the ground. Rocket’s ass peeks out of her candy red vinyl dress as she climbs pissed-off upstairs. “Why don’t you want to marry a nice Jewish girl?” “Auntie, I’m not exactly into nice Jewish girls.” “Oh Gawd, that shiske tsatskele turned into a bum-humping feygele, didn’t she? Oy vey, I could deal with the green hair and the women’s clothes, but this is too much for my frail heart.” Cholera and fuck this shit. I can’t think in English anymore, let alone at all. I’ll just let dialogue context take care of this while the noodles begin to dry. “Jestem nieszczêœliwy wiêc jestem zrzêdliwy” “What did you say, dear?” “Jestem zmęczony, ciociu.” “Zeb, you know I barely understand Polish anymore. Unlike. I just neededsomeone else to tell me what was going on."Well..." Tina blushed as she pulled back a little. The pixyish girl'seyes darted back and forth for a moment. I'd never met her beforetonight. She was one of Roni's friends, one that was apparently intoplaying at being some kind of witch. After a few more moments offidgeting she finally looked up and met my eyes."Sorry. I didn't realize that the spell would actually work this time."She fidgeted again. "The last time I tried it, we had three girls, Ihadn't realized it would work differently with a guy." What do you mean?" I had managed to collect myself, at least as much aswas possible when I felt two huge breasts on my chest and a noticeablevoid between my legs. I was doing my best. I didn't like to panic even ifthis was the perfect time to do so."Well... I just found this old magic book and it had this one spell thatwas supposed to help find out about the opposite sex. It needed threepeople, and I tried it a couple nights ago.
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